I love bible studies. I love reading Gods word, getting to know new women in my community, sharing my heart and hearing how God has worked in their lives. But then they end and I’m on my own and I feel totally lost. I know there are great locally made resources at my finger tips but like working out I do better in a group setting and easily settle back into bad habit easily.
This is where this season of change is so important for me. I’m trying to push myself and grow as a person not only for those around me but for ME. In a group I have others I need to (in a sense) report to and will hold me accountable. However I don’t think I’m in a place yet in my life where I care enough about to hold my own self accountable. Man, writing that sounds sad and kinda pathetic. I just hold myself to so much, too much most of the time if were being honest and I just can’t follow through due to causing my own crippling anxiety and poor self talk.
Thankfully I have a husband who is here physically to pull me along and help me regain my control but I’m even luckier to have a Heavenly Father who is always with me, whispering His sweet words straight into my soul where they stay until I’m able to hear them fully. I’m reminded of this as we wrapped up our first memory verse from our homeschool adventure the last week of July.
At the end of the day I need to push myself to make a choice, however making the best choice in this case is harder than the easy one and that gives me a bit of anxiety. My latest study just ended and I was blessed to have a group of ladies that decided to keep in touch after our study together. We have plans for playdates and such, but have yet to see if any study talk actually happens. I guess I need to just wait and see. I also know I have a dear, sweet friend who has had the idea of women study sitting on her heart for some time now, so maybe this is my chance to get that rolling and support and serve her on that path. Again, who knows. I’ll keep you posted on what I decide to do, as maybe this platform can also keep me accountable in some way if this topic interest you friends. If it, does leave me a comment so I can make note of it for future reference.